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Déjà vu, all over again!

January 17, 2016

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare! Thankfully, I’m not referring to getting a call about your child being killed or missing; I’m talking about the equally frightening, but far less serious matter of your kids walking in on you having sex!!!!

When my oldest kids were about six and three respectively, they managed to sneak into our bedroom and hide under our bed just as we had hit the intermission portion. We were about to reconvene when I heard what sounded like little whispers saying “mom and dad are naked” coming from under the bed!!!

I was hoping that I was mistaken, but I casually rolled over and looked under the bed and saw my son and daughter, who began to giggle, not knowing what they had just done! My wife instantly went into an uncontrollable frenzy of repeating, “Oh my God! Oh my God!” over and over as she ran into our bathroom!

Talk about a buzzkill! Nothing cures an erection like hearing the sound of your kid’s voice in the same room you were just having sex in! I jumped up from the bed wrapped in the bed covers and got the kids out of the room as I tried to calm my wife down who was now in the shower trying to wash all of the evil off her body! I thought it was funny initially, but my wife was having nothing to do with that notion, she was doing a combination of slightly laughing and crying!

Typically I was always able to think on my feet, but I had nothing, so I called for back-up, first my mother and then my mother in law. As I explained in full detail, the day’s events I got the same laughter from both! I had to use my mother-in-law to convince my wife to unlock the bathroom door! My mother-in-law had to calm my wife down and convince her that we did not scare our kids for life!

This experience, though scary and ridiculously amusing as it was (after the fact), we thought surely was just a once in a lifetime type occurrence, right?

Jump forward now some thirteen, nearly fourteen years later and my now nineteen-year-old son manages to forget the rules about closed doors. Doors that his dad was, once again, convinced that he had locked! Oddly enough, while she handled this latest incident much better than the first, my wife was instantly convinced that I never locked the door the first time, nor the second.

Ironically, as a professional who deals with these issues on a regular basis, I immediately talked to my son about walking in on us again. (Well, after we finished our business… yeah, my wife was actually willing to finish this time!)  “You’ll learn how to knock one day!” I told my son. I even joked with him as if whether he needed to talk to a Therapist about his experience?

So what do we truly take from this funny, but all too real story? Is it the importance of making sure the door is locked at all times? Perhaps it is the importance of explaining the rules to your kids about trying to open your parent’s bedroom door? I’d like to mention even the significant detail of remaining sexually active with your spouse after 20 years of marriage!

Looking back on this experience I am convinced of more than a few important facts of life-

•I know I locked that door on both occasions!
•There are far worse things that kids can catch their parents doing!
•Our parents are important in helping us keep things in perspective.
•Our experiences help shape the type of people we become.

In all the things I hope that we have taught our children when it is all said and done, I hope that they learn the value of family and the small, simple values of life, as well as the importance of making sure that the door is locked!

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