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The Value of a Good Woman

June 4, 2015

I’ve always lived much of my adult life on the logic of one of my favorite Clint Eastwood “Dirty Harry” quotes, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” That saying takes on a different meaning within the context in which it is used, sometimes funny, other times more profound. I’ve always used it in relation to knowing exactly who I am, and what I am capable of without the proper help in my life. While God is our foremost source of help throughout all that we may endure in life, he has placed for every man, a woman. She is there to help him, sometimes guide him, other times warn us, and inevitably encourage us to endure all of life’s situations that weigh us down. What I find most tragic is the fact that too many men often devalue, degrade, and outright disrespect the very source of help that God has placed in their life for them!

Like the saying, “You don’t miss your water, until the well runs dry,” many men only fully appreciate all that they have in a good woman after they’ve lost that woman due to their own maltreatment. Like the tradition of giving out beautiful flower arrangements at a loved one’s funeral ceremony; why do we only think to bestow appreciation, or value a person’s worth after they’re gone? Why can’t we offer them flowers while they’re yet with us, and while they can fully appreciate their beauty, and smell their aroma?

I’ve seen men pour out their hearts to the very woman whose heart they’ve destroyed through their callous behavior, and I wonder why they couldn’t have expressed those same feelings before, when it would have meant so much more. While flowers and cards are customary trends of expressing sorrow or guilt, they are also a valued expression of love to be equally shared just to let that special person know that they are loved, and never taken for granted!

Some men fall into the trap of devaluing women by claiming that women are all the same, and only seek to manipulate and take from men. So men, seek instead, to manipulate and use women. They justify their actions in advanced, playing games that always end tragically and leave no winners on either side. For those of the opinion that women, or men, are for the most negative aspects, “all the same,” allow me to suggest this… you may need to stop searching from the same sources for potential mates, while expecting a different outcome each time.

Some women try to change the heart of a man that they know to be unwilling to change, and as a result, fault the entire male population; when in fact it’s their own failure to heed the warning of their heart. This is what inevitably causes them the most heartache. Contrary to popular belief, good men aren’t hard to find; they do exist. It’s just the fact that women often invest too much time in chasing “bad boys” for the appeal, only to long for a good man once they’ve been battered by their “bad boy.”

As for me, I’ve been blessed to have experienced the highs and lows of 20 years of marriage to a good woman. The wisdom that these years of experience have taught me has made me truly appreciate all that I have in my wife. I refuse to allow foolish pride, financial circumstance, or outside forces to hinder or destroy what we have in our relationship. As beautiful as another woman’s smile can be, no other woman’s smile can take away my day’s frustrations away, like that of my wife, when she smiles as she’s sharing a story of an event from her day.

God has indeed blessed mankind with very beautiful women of all colors, cultures, heights, and sizes. As for me, I take great pride in still being smitten with the one he has blessed me with for these 20 years, and I’m still amazed that she continues to walk through every valley by my side, holding my hand. While anyone can find someone to stand next to them when they’re receiving the rewards and the blessings, can you boast about having that special someone beside you when things are seemingly falling apart?

I’ve made it a habit of letting people know that if I achieve any sense of accomplishment, or notable achievement in my professional life, it is because I’ve been blessed with the love and support of a good woman. My wife has stood beside me. On more than one occasion she has held me up, and encouraged me when I’d lost all confidence in myself. There are a lot of people who find their strength and inspiration in the things they’ve accumulated or accomplished. I tend to find my inspiration in the things that I’ve merely survived or overcome, and the fact that I overcame many of them with the help of a loving woman has never been lost by me! In a time in which men and women debate the value of each, like who performs what task and the role each plays in the relationship, I can attest that in 20 years of marriage I’ve learn to yield often in my relationship because I know my limitations, as I know my strengths.

I am rather impatient, so I fully appreciate being married to the most patient person I’ve ever known! I can be rather impulsive at times, so I often yield to my wife who regularly helps me, and as a result many people credit me for being something, that I know all too well, I could not be on my own. If I have any attribute that I freely share with people, without sounding pretentious, it is my humility. Simply because I’ve been humbled too many times by life’s circumstances, for me to ever get beside myself. I know from whence I came, and I know who I am. I am a man who does not value his wife by how much he spends on an engagement ring only to dishonor his vows by sleeping with a coworker, or a complete stranger. I am old fashioned and loyal to a fault when it comes to what I value, and if that makes me come off as self-righteous, that’s too bad. I won’t be mistaken for one of those guys whose left regretting the loss of a relationship; for not appreciating what he has until he’s ruined it all with neglect, or maltreatment.

Like my favorite Dirty Harry quote, I know my limitations, and I know that without the benefit of love from the good woman I have in my life, my happiness would have been severely limited. While it’s possible for a man, or a woman, to find contentment living their life without the parameters of monogamy, I truly believe that a man is rather fortunate when he can find a woman that is able to, not only love him for who he is, but one that can simultaneously make him see past his own limitations and achieve more out of life.

That, is a special woman indeed.

Regardless of how far I’ve fallen in life, the things that give me comfort are the facts that I have three beautiful children, I work in a field that is rewarding, have a hobby that engages me, and I have all of this thanks to the woman that God sent to walk beside me. I’ll always value who she is, and what she means to me.

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