The Cold Room Revisited

The room is cold, “it’s always cold”

She exclaims as I help her put on her gown.

Then comes the crinkling sound of the paper

as she takes a seat upon the examining table.

The chill of the paper on her bare skin causes

her teeth to chatter, she asks me to hold her,

to keep her warm. We fill the room with idle

chatter while we wait, such as what we will eat for

dinner later? She also asked if I remembered to

pay the gas bill? We even discuss once again

on the topic of baby names. It was our second

child so she got to decide this time. I hear the

rolling of the ultrasound machine approaching

right outside the door. As the door opens

warm greetings are then exchanged.

She giggles as the technician puts the cold

gel on her pregnant belly, “I’m so sorry I

know it’s cold.” The technician replies as I look on.

I look on with eager anticipation, listening…

We continue to listen… several minutes go by.

The technician says nothing! We hear nothing!

After the troubling silence the technician leaves.

A nurse then replaces the technician and says…

“We lost your baby’s heart beat!”

I hold her as she collapses into my arms.

The nurse tries to explain the D & C procedure,

But her crying causes the nurse to stop trying.

We are left alone in the room with tears.

What’s for dinner, the bills, now forgotten.

I am left alone in the room holding her

without a word being spoken.

There is nothing but that chill in the room…

I feel it now,

It is always cold!

 

E.D. Armstrong